Gender queer being proud and out

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Surfer dude sascha kai

I am f…king happy with this picture because i look like a surfer dude or dudet. I always wanted to look like a surfer.. First my style was very slobby because i didnt care when i was young i just went to skool with my gym clothes lmao. Then i was this baggy skatergirlboi. Then very girly around 14 because i wanted to be accepted during high school and i didnt wanted to get bullied anymore! But i totally dont like my old self super girly pictures because its so not me! I do look good or something but hell no. Is that my fucking sister? Then there was a time that i went to school with a dress on and the next day cool guy clothes and they asked me if i trade days to skip classes with my twin. Was quite funny. But i was experimenting my style and who i was and i didnt know it anymore well i did but i was afraid of all the cruel teenagers with a big filty mouth calling me shitty thing. A Dutch word was manwijf, it is funny cuz it means menwoman. Its actually a negative insult but i enjoyed hearing it but yet felt not accepted. But one day i went in a pink Drees with a pair heels and they Called me travestite. Actually putting me in a pink Cinderella dress does make me feel like a travestite. So they were right. Nowadays im an adult and no its not as boring as you think to be an adult. Of course you have to pay Bulls and stuff but people are polder and are getting wrinkles from all there laughs at people what they thought was funny and now regret it and beautiful wrinkles from their lives… They do not Billy or insult as much as teenagers who are just not that developed to think of not being silly. I think bullying actually helps US to toughen up so i dont mind the way life. But it does Hurt.

So now as an adult i once shaved my hair and was almost bald but i didnt want to look like a Soccer boy. XD so i grew it and now its perfectly fine. Short at the front and a little longer at thebackside and shaved at the left punky style.

My style thesedays is surfish, a Rockstar in leather or an army outfit because i like to appear tough or hippie sweet caring kindness look. So basically im a surferdude, a girl in army who fights for women rights, Rockstar man and hippie unisex androgynxD lmao

i made because i identify gender queer and more edged to ftm (male) but still i feel sometimes female. But i feel many times more comfortable being a dude. But very occassionally i like being a girl. I dont know if thats called gender queer, because i aint 50/50 more like 80/20 male female. And ocassionally I DO love it to be looking feminine, because that’s also a part of me, if you see my sister in a leather feminine suit? Well, yep that’s not my god dang sister. That’s me too. If you see me in a suit with a tie and very masculine, that’s not my brother, that’s also me, i do have a brother though, he looks like me, so yes it could be my brother but STILL! lololol I really am not hundred precent one gender, i dont see myself as one gender. But if i have to choose it would be male but in this world i do not have to choose so i am two genders.

They are also going to research my body because ive been born premature 2,5 months too early in this world. And that fucks up chromosones so i could have not only X female chromosones but also a Y male chromosones. Because my body has both female and male features. I am going to take testosterone because it makes my dysphoria much less and i would be incredibly happy when that day will begin. Im going to keep a party ^^

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